More quotable kids (and parents) from the past week:

• "I don't want to find out if I'm good at the Heimlich Maneuver tonight."
• "I think your tooth went into my skull."
• "Hey mom and dad! Lydia said her first word today! She said it with her head, like this." < nods >
• "I'm the ice cream man. I sell pizza, ice cream, sprinkles and formula for babies. But I'm out of ice cream, so here's your pizza with sprinkles."
• "If she didn't have that monkey under her butt, she could roll over."
• "Let's make a circus. I'll be the ringmaster, you and Lydia can be the clowns, and Daddy can be the ostrich."
• "I think she has rice up her nose."

And my personal favorite, which is this week's Brutally Honest Bumper Sticker: 

• "Stop trying to pretend this is normal."