Monday, September 10, 2007

Baby Scheduling Service

Sometimes I feel like I am my toddler's personal assistant, coordinating his social calendar and relaying messages for him. My days go something like this:

(phone rings)
Mommy: "Baby Scheduling Service, this is Mommy. How may I help you?"

Voice on Phone: "Hello, this is Grandma."

Mommy: "Hello, Grandma. Can I interest you in our Tuesday Evening Special? We're offering a complimentary spaghetti dinner with your baby visit, complete with a poncho to protect your clothes from flying noodles."

Grandma: "No thanks. I'd like to schedule a Saturday visit with my grandson...and I'd like the Fuss-Free Guarantee, please."

Mommy: "I'm sorry, but we are no longer offering the Fuss-Free Guarantee due to an unexpected increase in tooth production. However, we are promoting our Proof of Fussy Certification this week, which includes a log of naps that confirm that the reason for his fussiness is not your visit."

Grandma: "Okay, that will have to do. I also have a list of requested maneuvers for my stay. Specifically, I would like to order four smiles, two hugs (upon arrival and departure), several steps (you did say he was walking now, didn't you?), and at least three laughs."

Mommy: "All right, I'll pencil you into his calendar for this Saturday, between his baby food throwing and his rough-housing with Daddy. Will there be anything else?"

Grandma: "No, that's all. I'll see him on Saturday."

Reckless Abandon via Remote Control

Our TV now speaks French.

I consider myself to be fairly tech-savvy, but I can never figure out the three remotes with 100 buttons that are needed to work our TV/DVD/Stereo combo. So, I can't figure out how to switch it back to English.

If I give the remotes to my 9-month-old son, I'm sure it will go back to English. Either that, or he will change something else. I think he likes watching me struggle...or maybe I've just lost the childlike love of pushing buttons and playing with reckless abandon. His joy is priceless, in fact, that I let him play with the remotes.

Maybe tomorrow I'll throw caution to the wind and push all the buttons on the remotes with him. I'm sure it would be fun...and I can blame my son when my husband comes home and can't remember how to turn off the closed captioning.