You may have noticed that I blog about the grocery store a lot. I think that's because I work from home, so I really don't leave the house all that often. Grocery shopping is the one time each week that I'm guaranteed to get out of here!
I'm very picky about which line I choose at the grocery store. When I come up to the checkout lines with my cart overflowing with groceries, kids, and kid paraphernalia, I want to get in and get out. So, I select my line based on the bagger. Nope, not the cashier. Contrary to popular belief, the bagger is the person who controls the line.
So, without further ado, here is my take on the baggers at the grocery store.
The Food Snob: The "my food can't touch my other food" picky eater in bagger form. This is the guy who thinks each item should go it its own separate bag. This guy is SO slow that the cashier has to turn off the second conveyor belt because it's piling up at the bagger station. When I get this bagger, I leave the grocery store with 180 separate, barely unfolded bags that will roll around the back of my van and end up under the seat for me to find (or, in some cases, smell) weeks later.
The Environmentalist: The opposite of the Food Snob, this bagger wants to use as few bags as possible, either to save the environment or just to make his job more challenging. Perhaps he's bored...or he likes puzzles. After an encounter with this guy, I have to deal with bags breaking apart in my garage as I try to bring them in, freezing cold toilet paper (because it's bagged next to the ice cream), and those annoying red marks on my wrists from trying to lug more than one bag into the house at once.
"Oh, What a Cute Baby!": This bagger, usually female, has to stop every two seconds to talk to my kids, even if it's my baby daughter who could care less about any of it. Like the Food Snob, this bagger slows the line down as she tries incessantly to get a reaction out of my 5-month-old. The result? Angry customers behind me and food bagged haphazardly at best.
The Give My Kid a Million Stickers Guy: This guy thinks every kid should have a sticker, even if it's the stupid "thanks for shopping here," I-paid-for-this-but-it-wouldn't-fit-in-a-bag sticker. Unfortunately, stickers given to a four-year-old end up on the floor of my van or worse, stuck to a random wall or piece of furniture.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Since I became a parent, I've found myself saying things I never thought I'd say, and listening to things I never thought I'd hear. In the past week, there seem to be a few more than usual. So, here's a few things I heard (or said) this week:
- "No, Yoda isn't a pig."
- "Please keep your feet out of your dinner."
- "Did you know our son thinks Yoda is a PIG??"
- "Santa and Bob the Builder got flushed down the Lego toilet."
- "Maybe Yoda is a pig...we don't really know what he is, do we?"
- "I don't need to hear the play-by-play of your poop."
- "She'd be smiling even if her hair was on fire." (that one's about my daughter)
- "We'll have to thank Pappaw for adding the Power Rangers to our Christmas village."
- "I don't believe you when you say you are scared of corn."